Taking it day by day.

You know in my heart of hearts I truly thought this journey was in remission and I was clear. From the way that I felt and the completion of my treatment it felt like the end. Truth is folks it is never the end when you are diagnosed with cancer. Not anymore. And that is frustrating. I sometimes feel like I have done something to deserve this long-ass journey. (Excuse my language) Every morning a person wakes up in the morning and thanks God that they have today. I feel good but that could change in a second and I have to be grateful for today. I have started a journal for my kids.  This blog is for them later on but, if they need me earlier they are able to be a part of me, through their journal.  My mom said everyone should do it. Facing their mortality or not. I really have begun to understand the value in little traditions, it just sucks that it's because I have cancer that I have to fast forward it all.

So, today was another light day. You know those days. Those days that are fully productive and you are truly happy and feeling blessed. The days when the nausea is finally gone. Those days when the fight seems so much easier then..well..then it is...  I finally have my oophorectomy (removal of the ovaries-p.s. love to say that word) scheduled, January 22. My oncologist kinda thought that it should be a little earlier (like this week) but the hospitals were full. What can you do? Well let me tell you what you do. In the meantime you get a shot, that suppresses your ovaries and force you into early menopause. It's less abrupt  than the actual surgery. You know the menopause thing. I know you want to ask me? What is it like? Well, I'm cool with it actually. I would trade my period for hot flashes any day. (Oh, by the way they are not flashes they are waves they last a lot longer then a flash, I think I have said that before) Now being dry down there.... well there are creams to a

So with the lesions we made the decision to go ahead and treat them, aka fry them out, in my back. I had to do 5 days. Approximately 40-45 minutes per vertibrae. They were only treating two so the sessions should have been an hour and a half to two hours. Day 1 took 3 hours laying on my belly, but the days to follow seemed much quicker. I am still pretty nauseous, but the pain is subsiding. Which was the plan to begin with. Honestly, achey, nauseous, and tired,  makes a mama kinda grumpy. But on the up side...Only 1 more to go and I am done. AMEN to that! Then It is Christmas!!!

So yesterday was my first Cyberknife session. It took FOREVER!! I was laying on my belly (which by the way I dislike immensely) for 3 HOURS!! My face through a hole in a plastic head thingy. Similar to a massage table but everything was hard!! The table the thing I put my head in.. Kinda ridiculous. And yes the nausea is an added bonus to the procedure for me. So LUCKY! I am back on pain meds for the soreness, anti nausea meds, and I am needing a muscle relaxer for laying on my poor new boobs.  Ugh! Kinda feeling a bit grumpy because I don't feel great. And I'm exhausted. It was nice that the whole family was home when I was finished though. We celebrated Lennox's birthday and my birthday, and it was nice to have a distraction. Today I have a second opinion, just to see what they will say, and another Cyberknife session. They claim that it won't take as long as it did the first time, but I am not banking on it, cuz then I may be happily surprised!! I will post again l

Although the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." -Isaiah 30:20-21 This morning I awoke to peace in my heart and the Lord on my mind.  I had an appointment with the radiologist today and my nerves were at peace. I decided to take a few moments before the chaos of the day woke up, to read my Jesus Calling book and todays scripture. This is what it said: December 18- When you are plagued by a persistent problem- one that goes on and on- view it as a rich opportunity. An ongoing problem is like a tutor who is always by your side. The learning possibilities are limited only by your willingness to be teachable. In faith, thank Me for your problem. Ask Me to open your eyes and your heart to all that I am accomplishing through this difficulty. Once yo

Both plans include: -Hysterectomy -Weekly Bone Strengthening Infusions -Radiation vs Cyberknife vs Cryoablation We know that the lesions are Estrogen receptor + so both plans will include hormonal therapy. Plan #1 ER(estrogen) + / HER2 - (this plan is for the rest of my life) -Change my hormonal pills (I will take 2 for the rest of my life) -PET scans every 3-4 mos. -monthly blood work -and monthly office visits Plan #2 ER+ / HER2 + (because the HER 2 is a different kind of cancer, I would have to start all over with a different type of treatment.) (Need another Port for infusions) -Intravenous Chemo  every 3 weeks, x6 treatments -Targeted therapy-chemo, but a different drug  every 3 weeks for about a year. -Start hormonal therapy- this would be one of the pills from above indefinitely. -PET scans every 3-4 mos. -monthly blood work -and monthly office visits