Friday, May 23, 2014

Round 5

Countdown to #16!!! I am soooo glad that rounds 1 through 4 are over!!! CELEBRATING!!! I stopped blogging for a while because it was hard to be positive and even though it is very theraputic to vent and be able to get it all out, I was at my low and I knew that if I wrote it down it would bring me down further. I had my last round of the " big dog", as we are calling it, and I finally took the steroids and extra fluids. Truthfully, it was one of the easier rounds, I would not recommend holding off on the steroids, or the extra fluids, they seriously made a WORLD of a difference. I was trying too hard to tough it out, not to say that it was easy, however, it was easier. Some folks who have already experienced it, can't believe I did it without. That made me proud. But then thought to myself, why? Because I was sicker? So silly how pride can take you places. So my pride has been set free!!! So much so, I was at a concert Wednesday night and some friends wanted to see my head, I took my scarf off for quite a while for some pictures and could have cared less!! There is nothing like getting complements on a beautifully shaped head. I know that sounds weird...

Yesterday was round 5 and from here on out they will be weekly. 11 more to go. This is the Taxol and it will be given at lower doses. THANK YOU GOD!!!  I can handle this! Many said these would be much easier. They did say that I would be tired, however, I never expected to be narcoleptic!! I don't typically use Benadryl but holy moly!! I was so knocked out, it was crazy. I couldn't keep my eyes open. I slept during treatment, 10 to 12, the nurses had to wake me several times to check on me, but they couldn't keep me up. Then I got home and laid on the couch and I was out again for 2 more hours, then went to bed at 8 and slept until 7. When I say out, I mean out, my hubby let Lennox snuggle me for a bit (which really means crawl all over me) and I slept through it all.  That to me isn't what I would define as "tired" it is narcoleptic! But I will take that symptom over the Adriamyicin/Cytoxin ones!!!
 I have come to understand that the symptoms that they say will happen, I just need to believe that they will be intensified. Nausea = its CONSTANT and must keep up on the meds. regularly.(must write the times down because I was so consumed by how I felt I would forget) Achy = full blown flu like symptoms,  must take Ibuprofen regularly, Foggy brain = chemo/prego brain and loss of word choice (which I hate feeling like I don't know what to say and how to say it), and then Tired=narcoleptic.

I feel so much less toxic this time. I got up, helped the kids get ready (curled Talya's hair:)), and actually feel good enough to blog, and be positive. I spoke to a lady and she used the words "downhill from here". It could be taken 2 ways, but I took it as coasting down a hill and as of today, I think it will be.  I will continue to pray that it continues to be like this. I almost feel good enough to start working out!!! I have hope that I will be able to do some of the things that I want to do, and I have hope that my weekends are no longer shot!!! I am super excited about that.  All I need to do is sleep the entire day of treatment, then I can continue to take on the world!!

Talya will be having her Advancement ceremony today. She is getting so big and grown up!! Can't wait until she is at the Intermediate school to meet new friends! I loved 5th and 6th grade so I know that she will too.
Chaz will be starting the Chinese Immersion program in the fall too. He is excited about that too. He is already trying to learn some of the words from Kai Lan. :) Sooo cute.
Lennox, well she is surely my buddy right now. She is busy and we are looking into Mother's day Out programs for the fall so that she can meet new friends too.
Josh is doing amazing in his new role. He is happy and so are those who work around him...
Overall, I have met some pretty incredible people and am so lucky to have them in our lives.  I am excited that I see the end of this crazy tunnel and again I HAVE HOPE!!! Thank you to all of you who are supporting us and loving us. We can't do this without you, and when this is all over we will celebrate!!

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