Taking it day by day.

In no way did I mean for the post about how to help people going through this to come back to me! It is now my turn to make others aware of how to help others with breast cancer. I mean with odds of 1 in every 8 women are diagnosed with BC??? One of you will know someone else, or you may be thrown into this club yourself. It was just to help others. With that said, thank you Jana, for the pedicure gift card I am going this weekend!!!! DATE DAY WITH MY BIG GIRL!! So it is official my best chance to raise my survival rate is to do combined therapy. My diagnosis is Premenopausal (I know sounds weird, but with all these crazy estrogen hormones it makes a difference in the treatment.) Stage II A (meaning it is really the size (2.2cm) and the grade(high) of the tumor since it's not in my lymph nodes, and there is no evidence of it metastasising) ER +, PR +, HER 2 (NEG~ my hyphen button isn't working!!) Invasive ductal breast cancer. And then there is my age that seems to be consis

The many days I spent worrying about the horrible things that could happen to me or Josh on my way to work. Or the horrible things that could happen to my kids on their way to school, at school or after school, have been over shadowed by good. I have found something pretty incredible again, that I think I can honestly say I lost for a little while; faith in humanity. School and movie theater shootings, children kidnapped and murdered, ugh.....I can't say any more.... It leaves your soul and spirit very dark and sad. Especially when there are three little lives that I brought into this world.  And, with the many scary events that have happened the past several years, I think I feared the terrible more often than opened my eyes to see the wonderful that this world possesses. In the past three months I have found that faith in humanity, again. I have had phone conversations with women whom I met for a mere week in Rome; they tell me they love me before hanging up, help me schedu

Heather wanted me to write down things that either I wish I had that would make this time easier, as well as things that have been soooo helpful for our family. My mom gave me a book that I absolutely love. I thought about how to share what I need, and it is really hard to ask for help but this book is incredible!!  The title is ' help me live, 20 things people with cancer want you to know ," by Lori Hope. It is so honest and so wonderful. Things that were wonderful: *The tears   I know that it is hard to watch someone you love fight through something, your tears are a gift whether you think so or not.  I've loved knowing that you care. I'd worry if you didn't cry, others would worry if I didn't cry.  Sometimes hearing it is going to be alright becomes a generic statement and one that sometimes you don't believe, nor want to hear.  Sometimes just hearing you cry and listening to me was enough. It is enough to tell me how much this sucks and how s

It is getting harder to write everyday only because I am getting back into the swing of things. Less down time. Music class, dr. appts.... Valentine's day etc.. Thanks Gma Bonnie for sending Valentine's that helped sooo much!!I don't know how one would handle cancer and a job. Cancer is a job.... Thank you God for allowing me to have this time to take care of myself and my family.  I did get a call from (Leslie's friend's, husband..I love saying stuff like that) who is an oncologist and I called him yesterday, 1 hour later he called me back!! As well as tried and get me in a day later!! Wow!! The blessings that I have encountered during this process have been crazy amazing!!! Yes of course I will! So really my second opinion will happen first. Maybe he is my first choice??? We will see..... I am still kinda swollen under my armpits and it is worrying me a little, but I also know it is going to take a little longer then I am used to heal on that side. I have a ca

I didn't sleep well last night however, I feel actually five times better then I did yesterday. I cleaned the Wii Room as we call it and I felt again like a part of this family. As well as rocking my baby, and putting her down to nap. Highlight of my day so far!! I awoke last night and read a recommended blog. (Thanks Leslie) Something that I find myself doing a lot lately. I feel a strange connection with strangers and it makes me realize how amazing the women are, who battled this  many years ago, without (my new friend) the internet!! This girl spoke a lot about being present, and it really fit with my new perspective. I wrote last time about letting go of control. And after my session of tears and anger that is exactly what I want to do. Granted it's difficult to teach a  old dog new tricks, but it isn't impossible. There will be challenges day by day and I know that whatever is on the other side of that fence (as I mentioned in the last blog) isn't something that

As I lay in my bed all I hear are little whisper voices coming down the hallway. What do ya know I have some visitors in my bed. "Can we sleep here til we fall asleep...." I miss having them in here.  All tucked in, voices off.  It is now very quiet.  Just breathing. I used to say that I didn't like it when my kids weren't in my house because there wasn't enough breathing. And although I rarely heard them, I knew they were there, breathing. I love that. I think when it rains it snows because first Lennox was sick, then Chaz caught a cold, and now Josh. I pray that my tough Tally and myself don't get it. It sounds terrible!!! The kids are now banking on not having school for the rest of this week . This canceling school business, I have to say, really screws up schedules. Kids count on schedules and they count on consistency and when they cancel it, it screws all of us up. Maybe that is my lesson I am needing to learn. Letting go of control, taking a leap o