Taking it day by day.

I awoke this morning to find that I have more eyelashes!!! This is exciting news! When they are sparse it's hard to apply any makeup because you still look like you don't have any. It's rebirth time! I can actually see my mascara! Each and every day I make a more conscious decision as to what I put into my body (you know like my dose of wine, or those darn salt and vinegar chips, just kidding ;)), I have learned that it is all in moderation and it is ok, as long as you don't over do it. And watching my hair grow is amazing (as slow as it goes, and honestly, I was kinda happy I didn't have to shave ANYTHING for the summer). and makes me grateful for this vessel. No matter the color of my hair, the daily growth of my leg hair etc... I am grateful.  I am blessed, and  every new eyelash or eyebrow hair  is another sign that I have another chance! So blessed! I will be walking this weekend in the Race for the Cure with my Talya. Chaz doesn't want to, and I totally

 My hair, let's discuss my hair...... Well how do I say this? It is white. Yep, I was pretty gray before but now I am white. Some folks are like, "It's awesome and you can totally rock it." I know, and I think I could. But being able to rock it and wanting to rock it are two different things.  I know. So superficial of me, caring so much about my hair, but shoot!! It is the one thing that I can control. I tried to dye it with my girlfriend Sarah. We colored all of the dark hairs (as minimal as they are) blonde so at least it would look platinum, (which by the way is the cheer squad that my daughter is on...coincidence? Maybe. Maybe not) and I think that it worked. The white hair never really took the color well.  I have found many say that they have to pay for their hair to be my color. It isn't terrible, but it isn't me. In my 6th grade classroom we always did a study on "This Believe" essays from NPR. Where people would write essays about belie

Although chemo is over this journey is not. It seems so long....ugh. Just want to be a mom and organize my closet!! Radiation started yesterday and it is a daily thing. Week 1 is under-way and to be perfectly honest, I am not sure of any of the side effects yet. Everyone tells me they will set in during week 3. It is a weird feeling and you do get time to think (5 LONG minutes). I am highly sensitive and I swear that I can feel those radiation rays. Others will tell me no. But my mom believes me, she always tells me how sensitive I am to things that are occurring inside, she believes me.  I felt my baby moving at about 10 weeks. Many said that is impossible, 'Nobody feels the baby that early'. I felt the day that I ovulated every month, again, another impossible feeling according to the 'less sensitive.' Plus with all of the the times I was with the fertility specialist watching my egg drop, I kinda figured out the feeling of ovulating. The cancer tumor inside me was