Wednesday, September 3, 2014


Although chemo is over this journey is not. It seems so long....ugh. Just want to be a mom and organize my closet!! Radiation started yesterday and it is a daily thing. Week 1 is under-way and to be perfectly honest, I am not sure of any of the side effects yet. Everyone tells me they will set in during week 3. It is a weird feeling and you do get time to think (5 LONG minutes). I am highly sensitive and I swear that I can feel those radiation rays. Others will tell me no. But my mom believes me, she always tells me how sensitive I am to things that are occurring inside, she believes me.

 I felt my baby moving at about 10 weeks. Many said that is impossible, 'Nobody feels the baby that early'. I felt the day that I ovulated every month, again, another impossible feeling according to the 'less sensitive.' Plus with all of the the times I was with the fertility specialist watching my egg drop, I kinda figured out the feeling of ovulating. The cancer tumor inside me was achey. I felt that too. Did it hurt? I would say yes which is why I thought it was a clogged duct, and mentioned it. It is weird that I am so in tune with my body but I am.... I believe it when others are too.

So, when I got home yesterday I felt achey in my neck, and I already feel a light sunburn. I will be talking to them about that today, but of course they might say 'Impossible. nobody feels the side effects this early.' I am not a nobody....(This radiation better not be causing any other problems or I might just have to go off on the medical folks who think this is best for me. )

I was talking to my sister the other day and I was just frustrated. I am done, and I know I only have six weeks to go but I feel like this has lasted forever.  I am trying to be upbeat and positive but this past week I have really just wanted to complain.

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