The many days I spent worrying about the horrible things that could happen to me or Josh on my way to work. Or the horrible things that could happen to my kids on their way to school, at school or after school, have been over shadowed by good. I have found something pretty incredible again, that I think I can honestly say I lost for a little while; faith in humanity. School and movie theater shootings, children kidnapped and murdered, ugh.....I can't say any more.... It leaves your soul and spirit very dark and sad. Especially when there are three little lives that I brought into this world. And, with the many scary events that have happened the past several years, I think I feared the terrible more often than opened my eyes to see the wonderful that this world possesses.
In the past three months I have found that faith in humanity, again. I have had phone conversations with women whom I met for a mere week in Rome; they tell me they love me before hanging up, help me schedule a girls nights, truly and deeply care!!! I have had conversations with my mother's friends who deeply care, send thoughts and prayers, as well as creating prayer circles and pray for me. I have watched some of them dance in their own kitchens while cooking dinner! I have continued to have messages of support and "You've been on my mind today"s.
I have been asked to be the honoree of a woman whom walks for a cure all around the country. I have received cards from people that I don't know however, their words are powerful!! ("The power of the bad 'C' cannot take me over because I have the greatest 'C' in my life. Christ.") I met one woman at a date night, (with the old girls) the weekend before my mastectomy, who sends daily positive thoughts and vibes through text messages to keep me motivated. I have watched my friendships morph and grow into something so beautiful, with the phone calls and the text messages, visits, and the laughter. Oh the laughter!!
I have seen a huge network of people embrace my family, here in Tulsa, and back in Colorado. I have been introduced to, (by a cherished friend), to an incredible, and empowering woman who was in my shoes four years ago. (who I continue to look to for advice.) I have met an oncologist who gave me his CELL phone number, and offered to see me as soon as possible (meaning the next day, he is kind, caring and normal). I have been given gifts from people who don't know me, but fight along side of me through my friends and family. I watched the beautiful people in the Cancer Treatment Center of America, and through the difficult challenges they face, they still manage to smile. I watched a woman shout at the top of her lungs in the waiting room that she was finally cancer free! What a beautiful world I have entered. The club nobody really wants to be in, but is spiritually one of the best I have ever been forced into.
It is time to pay it forward....
I honestly have to say that I have, again, found faith in humanity, and I am so grateful.