Saturday, February 15, 2014

Ways to help people who go through this.

Heather wanted me to write down things that either I wish I had that would make this time easier, as well as things that have been soooo helpful for our family.

My mom gave me a book that I absolutely love. I thought about how to share what I need, and it is really hard to ask for help but this book is incredible!!  The title is 'help me live, 20 things people with cancer want you to know," by Lori Hope. It is so honest and so wonderful.

Things that were wonderful:
*The tears
  I know that it is hard to watch someone you love fight through something, your tears are a gift whether you think so or not.  I've loved knowing that you care. I'd worry if you didn't cry, others would worry if I didn't cry.  Sometimes hearing it is going to be alright becomes a generic statement and one that sometimes you don't believe, nor want to hear.  Sometimes just hearing you cry and listening to me was enough. It is enough to tell me how much this sucks and how sorry you are.
*The texts
   The text messages have been a gift as well. Whether encouraging, prayers, or hilarious they kept me going and allow me to be able to look back in prayer, or when I needed to be mindful or just to laugh.

* All of the cards
  I forgot how much I love getting mail!! I gave up on sending people things, but now, I know how good they make you feel. If you do anything send someone you are thinking of a card. Everytime you go to the store pick up a card that you can give someone who is weighing on your heart. We really need to get back to the simple ways and the basics. 

* Listening to my plan and even if you don't agree, be agreeable.
  I am scared enough as it is. I cannot question the decisions that I need to make for me and my family. I am exploring all avenues, share with me what you have learned; but don't judge my decisions or make personal opinion comments. It doesn't help the situation. Plus, I have to put all my trust and my life into these peoples hands, and you cannot walk into any type of surgery or treatment with doubt. I can be scared but not apprehensive.
*The special baskets and treats for the kids, 
    With all of the things going on with me, the kids felt a bit looked over. It's hard when you can't give       your kids all the time that you normally do. But not when they get huge surprises from loved ones!! They all tell me there is no need for tears anymore, its just something we gotta get through.  Brilliant out of the babes mouth!!!
*The meal train. 
    It was amazing that we didn't have to think about anything, and knew that dinner was coming. The best part was that it was every other night which gave us time to eat the yummy leftovers!!
*Button ups or zip up shirts, sweatshirts, and jammies
    You can't raise your arms so they are much easier to put on. Nor can you shower and wash your hair so comfys are a necessity!!
*The cozy robe and blankets 
    It is weird how cold you get when there is no longer a large layer (DD) of fat on your chest. 
*Mini Ice packs
    I loved them because I iced a bit and didn't freeze myself!!
*Magazines & Books & Movies
     Lots of laying around. I am totally caught up on TV, and over it. I am almost finished with 3 of my books and my magazines are perfect for people with kids.
*Gift cards
    All of the wonderful gift cards people sent us, and gave us. Wow!!  
     We loved having my mom, sister and Heather. All for different reasons, but the intent and the help was all needed. I love you guys! It was easy to rest knowing that the things that I normally do were handled by someone else, and Josh didn't have to do everything by himself. Don't hesitate to ever invite yourselves over. Tell us a couple dates that work for you and you are always welcome. We love having company!!!
      My room smelled like a flower shop and all of them were so pretty! I even bought more so that I could fill a few vases that are perfect for my room.
*All care packages!!
   Enough said.
* Kind comments about my foam boobs.
  They don't feel real, nor do I think they look real but they can fake anyone out. Even the guy at the shoe store. Yep, he checked em out!!

Things I wish I had....
*A BACK SCRATCHER!!! I itch with prescription medication and for some reason it loves to itch me right between my shoulder blades. Especially the 3 weeks after surgery, I couldn't ever get it!!! BTW Chopsticks are not long enough. I found myself on the corner of doors, carpet, and other random things so I wouldn't disrupt the flow of my family.
*A pedicure
 I had every intention to do this but no one forced me to do it. FORCE your loved ones out to get a pedi.!!! AHHH! just to have your feet rubbed.

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