Taking it day by day.

So with the lesions we made the decision to go ahead and treat them, aka fry them out, in my back. I had to do 5 days. Approximately 40-45 minutes per vertibrae. They were only treating two so the sessions should have been an hour and a half to two hours. Day 1 took 3 hours laying on my belly, but the days to follow seemed much quicker. I am still pretty nauseous, but the pain is subsiding. Which was the plan to begin with. Honestly, achey, nauseous, and tired,  makes a mama kinda grumpy. But on the up side...Only 1 more to go and I am done. AMEN to that! Then It is Christmas!!!

So yesterday was my first Cyberknife session. It took FOREVER!! I was laying on my belly (which by the way I dislike immensely) for 3 HOURS!! My face through a hole in a plastic head thingy. Similar to a massage table but everything was hard!! The table the thing I put my head in.. Kinda ridiculous. And yes the nausea is an added bonus to the procedure for me. So LUCKY! I am back on pain meds for the soreness, anti nausea meds, and I am needing a muscle relaxer for laying on my poor new boobs.  Ugh! Kinda feeling a bit grumpy because I don't feel great. And I'm exhausted. It was nice that the whole family was home when I was finished though. We celebrated Lennox's birthday and my birthday, and it was nice to have a distraction. Today I have a second opinion, just to see what they will say, and another Cyberknife session. They claim that it won't take as long as it did the first time, but I am not banking on it, cuz then I may be happily surprised!! I will post again l

Although the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." -Isaiah 30:20-21 This morning I awoke to peace in my heart and the Lord on my mind.  I had an appointment with the radiologist today and my nerves were at peace. I decided to take a few moments before the chaos of the day woke up, to read my Jesus Calling book and todays scripture. This is what it said: December 18- When you are plagued by a persistent problem- one that goes on and on- view it as a rich opportunity. An ongoing problem is like a tutor who is always by your side. The learning possibilities are limited only by your willingness to be teachable. In faith, thank Me for your problem. Ask Me to open your eyes and your heart to all that I am accomplishing through this difficulty. Once yo

Both plans include: -Hysterectomy -Weekly Bone Strengthening Infusions -Radiation vs Cyberknife vs Cryoablation We know that the lesions are Estrogen receptor + so both plans will include hormonal therapy. Plan #1 ER(estrogen) + / HER2 - (this plan is for the rest of my life) -Change my hormonal pills (I will take 2 for the rest of my life) -PET scans every 3-4 mos. -monthly blood work -and monthly office visits Plan #2 ER+ / HER2 + (because the HER 2 is a different kind of cancer, I would have to start all over with a different type of treatment.) (Need another Port for infusions) -Intravenous Chemo  every 3 weeks, x6 treatments -Targeted therapy-chemo, but a different drug  every 3 weeks for about a year. -Start hormonal therapy- this would be one of the pills from above indefinitely. -PET scans every 3-4 mos. -monthly blood work -and monthly office visits

The next week consisted of scans up the wazoo!! First I had a PET scan, they identified two spots in my spine with significant lesions, and two smaller spots in my pelvis. There were some spots on the CT scan from the ER, on my liver, but the PET scan found this to be a cyst. Sometimes after surgeries these will form on organs... Next step would be to biopsy the lesions. Yes, that means taking a sample from my spine. DISGUSTING! Yes they hammer a biopsy tool into your spine and pull out a sample. Again, DISGUSTING!! The sound and the pressure, just grosses me out. Thank God that it wasn't painful, and after the procedure, the pressure was released in my back and I actually felt better. Still anxiety and my nerves were shot. Fear of the unknown. I had to wait a WEEK to get the results back. They test the sample to determine what, I like to say, the tumor likes to eat. That week was the longest week of my life. I was so worried this was going to determine my life expectancy. I have

So..here I am back on the blog. Only to help inform all that have prayed and loved and been so supportive of this next hiccup. I will start at the beginning... Step 1-BOOB JOB BABY!!!! I have had my reconstruction and I am very pleased. I have my high school boobs back!!And even though they are a bit smaller then I originally wanted, they are actually perfect. I had the expanders in for about three months beginning in July, they stretched the skin by injecting saline every 3 weeks.  I tolerated it really well. It was a weird sensation, but totally tolerable. All the fear and worry was totally unnecessary. I heard so many horror stories, (as you always do when you are going through a procedure) All of which didn't happen. Praise God!! We were able to inject about 100cc each time and slowly they kept growing! Such an amazing process!!  We finally hit the point where my skin would tolerate the size and we needed to stop. The crazy part people don't always realize is I didn'

So I sit here without anyone... the kids have all been sick. They are finally asleep... and I am remembering what music is...that means I have my iPod on and I am dancing alone....I am exhausted, but happy!!I am trying to man up for tomorrow because, yes, I am ROOM Mom.. what does that mean? I have to run this weeks valentines party.  It sucks because my Valentine won't be there because he has the flu AND strep.. but I still have to do this... What do I do? Should I throw my babies something special, or should I get sitter to take care of my littles so I can love up my man? Valentine's day has never meant anything to us because it exists only to remind people to care. It honestly makes Josh upset that others revolve their lives around this holiday because he believes that everyone should  love each other every day especially on random days. Tonight, I don't think I have ever felt closer!! Enough said... I am really living... and my relationship is so amazing. I have no word