Saturday, December 19, 2015

The new girls!! then WTHECK??? I am back on the blog. Only to help inform all that have prayed and loved and been so supportive of this next hiccup. I will start at the beginning...

Step 1-BOOB JOB BABY!!!!
I have had my reconstruction and I am very pleased. I have my high school boobs back!!And even though they are a bit smaller then I originally wanted, they are actually perfect. I had the expanders in for about three months beginning in July, they stretched the skin by injecting saline every 3 weeks.  I tolerated it really well. It was a weird sensation, but totally tolerable. All the fear and worry was totally unnecessary. I heard so many horror stories, (as you always do when you are going through a procedure) All of which didn't happen. Praise God!! We were able to inject about 100cc each time and slowly they kept growing! Such an amazing process!!  We finally hit the point where my skin would tolerate the size and we needed to stop. The crazy part people don't always realize is I didn't get to pick the size I got. My skin dictated that and I think there was a little God in there too. (God: "Girl stop. you don't need big ones, remember how the big ones caused us problems before?" Me: Yes Lord, again you are right!".) When you have breast cancer and a mastectomy, you have every bit of breast tissue taken out. My "C" sized implants, look more like a large "B". They had to fill the indentions that were left on my chest.
Then the week before Thanksgiving I had the twins put in. Again I healed quickly and seemed to do quite well.

However, I did feel really tired and I was not feeling 100% back to normal. I was taking Percocet to manage what I thought was post surgery pain. Hunching a bit to protect my scars, Not standing straight in fear that someone might bump the girls. You know. Positive thinking.
Thanksgiving week we spent in Breckenridge, and I spent most of the week on my back. I have struggled with my back for a while, but this pain was different. Thought maybe my UTI turned into kidney stones as my pain was so much worse then it ever had been. Got to the point where I couldn't get off the floor without so much pain that I was brought to tears. Ended up going to the ER the week following our trip to Breckenridge. Long story short all my organs are good, no UTI no Kidney stones, but they found lesions in my spine that were consistent with metastatic breast cancer.

First off,  DO NOT research this topic. I did and went south. Gave myself little time to live, and was actually FREAKING out. Ativan was my daily pill, to avoid any nervous break down. On top of Percocet to manage the excruciating pain. Worried about addiction to these controlled substances, but realizing this is the least of my worries. (I did not mix pills with cocktails tho, which is so bad for you.) Every story is different and we cannot be lumped into the same categories. My story will be different too. But my story isn't over. I have Metastatic Breast Cancer.

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