Taking it day by day.

Yesterday there were three things that really hit me at the core and again gave me hope. 1. At my book club, I felt slightly under the weather. We were sharing what we were grateful for this spring, in conjunction with the book One Thousand Gifts. As we shared one woman shared her journey that was very special to me. I could relate as a sibling I guess. She shared the prayers she had asked for another child and even more specifically a son. She was finally blessed with a son. All was well until she found out that his growth wasn't normal and he had dwarfism. Now this woman is already a beautiful woman, but as she spoke with her little one in her arms, she became more beautiful. She shined. Something glowed around her. I was in awe of her story,  and I will be reaching out to her because she was so strong and proud. I want to surround myself with people like her... 2. Robin Roberts made a comment about how her mother told her as she was fighting her battle that everyone has thei

Today I am posting from my chemo chair. The nausea hit much quicker today and I needed a little something more to help and it made me kinda loopy. Thank goodness I had a ride. (Day 5 of Treatment 3 )The whole process of this is taxing... and I want you all to know that I have moments too. I had my official meltdown today. Cried pretty much the whole day. Even watching Pitch Perfect to try and change my mood... cried during that. It is funny for those of you who haven't seen it. I don't know anyone who cried through it. I think that most of it is because I don't want to do this anymore. I felt good before I had been diagnosed, I mean REALLY good. I was working out I felt the healthiest I have ever been. Even after my mastectomy, I felt great. I felt cured, and now I feel like crap...makes no sense. I know that tons of women have gone through this and survived but I hate it!! It feels CRAPPY!! I don't like feeling CRAPPY!  I feel o.k. today but I dread the last round

Today I feel inspired, again. The toxicity has lifted and my body is doing exactly what it is supposed to do. GET ME HEALTHY!  Building up those white blood cells to fight any germs that come my way. Thank you God! Lots of ideas flowing through my mind. Hopefully sectioning them off in separate paragraphs will suffice.....  I joined a book study with a friend here and there is one thing that continues to stand out in my mind. Find the beauty in the ugly. The book is  One Thousand Gifts.  I have only been to one group but found it absolutely what I needed spiritually.   I'm reminded of all of the things that Jesus went through, and throughout it all he found the beauty in the ugly. Being beaten down and then rising to the good of a situation, learning and gaining strength from Gods love.  Crazy how these things happen. It is crazy to think about our purpose here on earth, I think mine is to find the beauty in the ugly. And to help others see it too. Toxicity, such a great way to

Well Round 2 is done. I am on day 4 which was the opening day for me. The fog lifts and the aches can be maintained using ibuprofen and I can relax my body.  It is pretty uncomfortable honestly and I try really hard to explain how it feels to go through the 4 days of yuck..but when day 4 hits for me, it really feels like a cloud lifts and you see clearly, the headache goes away. Alisha has been rubbing my neck where I hold all of my tension and it really helps. I need help the first four days for sure....I need to be able to walk out of the room and lay down. I need to make sure that Josh has some relief. He is cooking and cleaning and he has been so supportive. I don't particularly want to do this all over again (2 more times) but then you think about the noisy little blessings that run around my house and I can do anything!!

Well they weren't kidding!!! People said that your hair starts falling out on day 14.  I was like really??? On day 14 it would just start falling out??? For sure it is!! As we speak!! Crazy!! I have been mentally prepared for this for several months..... but now I am getting excited to let my kids shave it, color it whatever they want. All I know is you shouldn't cook on Day 14, especially if you don't want to find a TON of long hairs in your meal!!! Needless to say, I will not be cooking tonight!!!  I will try to post pictures tonight!!!

So I suppose that weekly writings will be efficient. Day 1 through 4 suck. I can only explain it as the first trimester of pregnancy and a 3 day hangover, combined with achey flu sypmtoms. Which I have stated before is terrible to endure especially when you don't get to do the "fun" stuff that creates both situations. Yucky!!! On day 4 though it was like there was a switch that turned back on. My head=cloud was lifted. I looked a Eric and Suzanne in the car and said I feel almost better!!! Yippee!! I did get my haircut and have received a ton of compliments. It is short and I suppose that I will let my kids dye it here shortly. Many have said that the hair comes out around day 14. Awaiting the day a chuck comes out is the day it will be shaved. I won't be clogging any drains....he he.... Many wonder why I feel the need to shave it. I think it would be hard to watch it fall out, and anticipating the initial chuck is enough, emotionally.