Yesterday there were three things that really hit me at the core and again gave me hope.
1. At my book club, I felt slightly under the weather. We were sharing what we were grateful for this spring, in conjunction with the book One Thousand Gifts. As we shared one woman shared her journey that was very special to me. I could relate as a sibling I guess. She shared the prayers she had asked for another child and even more specifically a son. She was finally blessed with a son. All was well until she found out that his growth wasn't normal and he had dwarfism. Now this woman is already a beautiful woman, but as she spoke with her little one in her arms, she became more beautiful. She shined. Something glowed around her. I was in awe of her story, and I will be reaching out to her because she was so strong and proud. I want to surround myself with people like her...
2. Robin Roberts made a comment about how her mother told her as she was fighting her battle that everyone has their thing. This was hers. Not more important or more difficult then anyone elses. It was her thing. I liked the thought of that. As challenging as this is and as horrible as I feel on the inside, this is my thing and if this has to be my thing then so be it.
3. I received a book titled Raw Faith from a family friend (Ms. Joan Rounds:)) and there was something in there that gave me hope. She talked about how she was faithful, the fluffy way. She went to church, lead bible studies, counciled people who were experiencing loss, and knew in her head what to say and how others could benifit etc... but if was fluffy faith. Until she was raw and stripped away, by a cancer diagnosis/and treatment, did she actually understand her relationship with God, and her purpose here. And She said, "If God has chosen to test your faith in this way, then his mercy is already upon you, for he is inviting you to see a revelation that few are chosen to see." I want so badly to feel this way.
All together this journey isn't easy but I suppose it is my thing, and I have to get through it. I have to become raw and accept it.